Overland and Borders

It was cold and cloudy this morning and we were thinking that was summer over but the cloud burned off about 9.30. Craig was up early and off to B&M stores for more soil for our onion planter. He said there were about 20 folk in front of him when he got there and about 40 in it when he left. The good think about man shopping is

1. Queue

2. Go in shop and head to soil

3. Pick up soil

4. Got to till and pay for soil

5. Back to car

Now…. if that had been me I would have sauntered up and down every aisle and come out with a fortune of stuff that we didn’t actually need but thought would be quite nice just to have!!

For those if you following this regularly you might realise that there’s precious little housework getting done so I cleaned the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher while he was out. Gotta start somewhere!! Forgot to mention that before the trip to B&M the rod top tent needed to come off the roof of the car

Another 813 hospital deaths yesterday taking the total to 20,319. Think there’s been a fair amount of folk out in the sun today which has meant they are reminding everyone to stay home. We’re so lucky having the garden and the countryside for our walks. It’s been so lovely today I think I’m pretty burnt. I’ve read a book which Claire gave me.

Got a message to say there was a pasta bake at the front door for dinner. We really have the best neighbours, Holly is keeping us going!!

Craig was sleeping like a log this morning so I ignored the dogs… bad dog mumma… and went outside into the sun with my yoga mat for half and hour and checked out Yoga with Adriene as I’ve been recommended it. She sometimes has her dog with her. I wouldn’t even try that as I’d be fair game and get licked to bits!!

So while snoring beast sleeps I take the dogs up the hill again onto the old golf course. It’s so calm and quiet, not a breath of wind and and the first time I don’t need a hoodie on. Beautiful. Took millions of photos so will turn and narrow them down!

So there are loads more but that’s it limited….. I went back out to volunteer with Beith Trust today. Had 5 houses this time, 4 from last week plus a new one. What a difference from last week.

So the first lady wanted a chat so I have to go into her house and drop food on the couch… she asked me my name and where I lived and if I had a job etc. Had a lovely wee chat with her. Next 4 all done and dusted within 40 minutes. I was in a totally different mindset today. No fear, no lack of confidence, only happy smiles and chats with everyone. The Beith Trust called one the morning to say they are looking at changing the way this works and that I might go and do some shopping for these people in future and become a kind of community liaison with them. Maybe their family would contact me if they were worried about them. I said I was more than happy to do that! What a difference from last week! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️❤️

Came home to the dogs being hosed down to keep them cool!!

They’re reporting another 684 deaths in UK hospitals in the last 24 hours and we got the good news today that oor Jeannie in the care home up in Crieff has tested negative despite losing one of her dinner table friends this morning. It’s makes it so much more real when you know someone who has died from it. The care homes can only keep patients as comfortable as possible as they don’t have any medicinal supplies which is really sad. The assistants are all on minimum wage trying to keep everyone apart and alive. It’s heart breaking to think about. So pleased to hear Jeannie is ok! Here’s a wee pic of her today.

We’ve had a lovely lazy afternoon in the sun, it’s been too nice to do jobs today.

So I’m gonna stop there and put the phone down and get back on with some crochet. Life in the fast lane huh? 💜

Bit of a lazier start to the day but it’s so nice that the wind has dropped. The silence is so lovely, the birds are twittering away and there’s only a few cars passing out the front. In between coffees we got the BBQ back up into place. Despite my best efforts at cleaning it still works!!

We took a wee family trip to the greenhouse too… check us…. and found that now that it actually retains heat due to re-glassing x number of days ago, things are starting to grow!

So it’s only 10.45am but I can sense we are both knackered and not really wanting to do much at all today.

Been reading up on Sky News and they say that today sees the lowest weekday rise in hospital deaths in 3 weeks. Think they are clutching at straws to report anything good if I’m honest. another 616 deaths have been recorded in UK hospitals. There was suggestion this morning that the death toll could be as much as 41% higher when they take non hospital related deaths into account. I’m not surprised and it needs to be done soon. Nicola Sturgeon is suggesting social distancing measures into next year. We watch tv now and remember what it was like when we used to be able to be in crowds, hug anyone we wanted (within reason!) and never have any concern of passing anything between us. I can’t imagine how people with OCD would be dealing with this. Constantly worrying about the virus passing from one person to another, being left on surfaces etc etc…. it’s so strange to us and yet becoming the new normal. We are actually living through this, being told to stay at home and having to be 2m apart if we meet anyone. We’ve been so lucky with the weather as it’s been glorious though cold in the shade. It rained for the first 3 months of 2020, can you imagine what lockdown would be like with torrential rain??!? I’m sure we might have that at some time too…. jeez I’m a little ray of sunshine today eh?!

Claire got gel nail polish and the ultra violet machine delivered yesterday and let me borrow it! Properly painted toes for the first time in a good few weeks when the last professionally applied gel nail polish grew off! they’re not the best but it was my first time. Everyone is having to find different ways of doing things just now. Also finding that many things don’t matter but pretty toes are nice 😁

So as you can tell I’m now sitting with my feet up on my granny’s recliner chair. I’ve spent a lot of my time off sick here as it’s so nice to relax in and it reminds me of my Gran 💜

It’s now 9.15pm and I wonder where the rest of the day went! Helped the Gateside Inn do their deliveries tonight and was so lovely to see neighbours (at a socially acceptable distance of course) but some that I’ve not seen for ages! Food is only for a lucky few in the village as she can only do a certain number in an evening without feeding folk at 9pm!!! We were last but so worth the wait.

I haven’t done my 15k steps today but was on my feet most of the day… so up about 9k just popped out to catch the sunset as it was stunning. A lovely end to another lovely day although sadly still in lockdown.

The first thought in my mind was thank god I’m not on breakfast duties…. I think I’m extra tired just now and need to rest but with the nice weather I want to be up and bounding around. Woke up disappointed I’d missed the sunrise…. wanted to get some photos. No chance of me catching the sunrise these days I’m big zzzz’s at that time! So some from last nights sunset instead.

So I’m only at 11am 🤣🤣🤣 only joking. Today’s plan was to get the tent back up in the roof of the Jeep as Craig’s not driving just now so no real effect on miles to the gallon /and it’s taking up room in the house. So…. I draw your attention back to the height of me…. and yes I’m number one helper to get the tent on the Jeep 🤔🤐

So I’ve been attending Kinesiology since I went off sick first in September 2018 which is a natural healing for emotional health. The less open minded of us may suggest it’s to do with magic beans but the belief is there is huge potential for the body to heal itself. Shelagh has been able to take this online during the lockdown and we work on the stresses and strains that you are feeling at the time. I told Shelagh I was exhausted all the time and had no energy to do anything but was always stressing at the NEED to do things, while its sunny, while it’s early…. etc. She tested my energy levels and found of the various different energies that one was a low as 2%. She is able to work on this online (I have no idea how) and half way through the session I felt a huge weight had lifted and retesting at the end showed all of my energy levels were lifted considerably. I feel so much better. It’s the hardest thing in the world to explain but my god it really works. So Craigie has his happy smiley wife back 🤔

By the time I come back out, Craig has chopped a tree down, hung a hammock and I just gotta try it out!!

Another 763 deaths from covid-19 in the last 24 hours and the Government say we are not at the peak. The lockdown has allowed the new cases to flatten and the deaths as are flattening too but we are over 18,000 people now which still doesn’t include the care homes… 😢

I am so exhausted… I’m sleeping up to 8 or 9 hours a night! Think I’m making up for all those years of 5.30am starts?!?! I’m like a lead brick in the morning and have to really force myself to get moving…. and it was my turn for breakfast today 😱 Craig’s been great doing loads of the cooking and his breakfasts are amazing and now that I’m out of banana bread I don’t have much to offer lol. He settled for rolls and bacon so I cooked that, had coffee and cereal today and set off for my daily constitutional with Calaidh and Freya this time. It’s such a lovely day tho VERY windy but even although I have to think to put one foot in front of the other on days like this I still really appreciate the beauty of everything round about me and my sunglasses, while not rose-tinted, add that extra bit of tropical-ness (I am allowed to make up words as I see fit!)

So yeah not feeling the best today and I took a call from a lady who I’d had some Career Progression Counselling with almost a year ago. She had wanted to catch up and didn’t know about my redundancy etc. She has offered to support me from a mental health perspective during this pandemic. She is volunteering “counselling” those who may need it and she thought of me. How very lovely of her. She has said just to text her whenever I need it and she will arrange to call me. She volunteered with the Samaritans for 8 years. So kind of her to think of me. Craig told me to go and get my shorts on and sit down about an hour ago as I didn’t look right today ( quick to follow up not in a looks way obviously…. 😆) so the rest of the day will be lazing in the sun with the pups.

Deaths have jumped up by 823 taking the UK to 17,337 hospital recorded. Reports say that care home deaths have quadrupled in recent days but we still don’t have those numbers. They say there are now 33 strains of the coronavirus now with the deadliest of the mutations being found in Europe. There are now 2.4 million cases around the world with more than 170,000 deaths but we guess these are still largely under reported due to deaths at home and in care homes. So very sad, don’t suppose any of us ever thought we’d be living through anything like this.

So today was gonna be the day… getting back to steps and healthy eating. Photos from yesterday of beached whale proportions had spurred me into action! So Fitbit charged overnight! Or did it…. naw!!! off to Asda first thing this morning, semi awake at 7 up there for 8. Asda give priority to Key Workers between 8-9 so I had to join a short queue but wasn’t waiting long.

Managed to get everything we needed and was desperate for new underwear as my underwired sprang it’s wire 😱 so all sorted! Back home and put it all away and the roofers had arrived to start work on emergency leak work.

So while it all looks rosy in the garden, I’ve felt pretty rotten all day. Zonked out tired again but also with a drive that we must be outside as it’s sunny and there’s tanning to be had but also that we must be doing stuff while it’s dry… my heads’ been in a Tasmanian devil tailspin all day. I am so tired that I need to remember that it’s ok to rest. Craig asked earlier if I was hungry and needed to eat or if I just needed to go somewhere else 😆 he knows when to stay out the way!

Coronavirus news today is all about one million employees to get a furlough grant as 140,000 firms have applied to the government scheme. This means that the Government will pay 80% of their salary up to £2.5k per month while they can’t work. A much smaller headline says 449 people died in the last 24 hours.

Movie time!

Had big plans to go shopping for 8am this morning when Asda opens but only managed to open one eye at 8.08am…. doh… we still have enough to make do for another day or so but wanted some fresh stuff…. no matter. By the time I got through. Craig had gutted the kitchen which was a riot when we went to bed last night so that honestly made my day!! Simple things…. sat and had a coffee outside then Jeep boy shouted and we got moving!

Today saw 586 deaths and we said that was a better number….. then looked at each other feeling awful at how blasé we’ve become about these deaths. This takes the UK total to 16,060. The news seems less dramatic more, dare o say that the shock and horror of it has passed us and now we are into to almost an acceptance phase? This is our life now. We look back on how it used to be and think how close everyone was before. You could be surrounded by thousands of people just in a shopping centre and now we can’t even be as close as 2m to anyone. Surely this is going to change our world moving forward.

Another beautiful day, damn cold in the wind but roasting when you’re walking and painting!! Cup of coffee then out in the sun with Calaidh and Freya while Craig walked Bhru. He’s spending some one on one time with her to take her out of the pack for a bit.

Came home and got the painting gear on and painted the fascia boards at the back of the house a dark grey to go with the new walls. Kindly borrowed from our neighbours who just painted their wood shed with it and it’s the exact shade we needed! Well ok as Craig said we’re not borrowing it unless we give them it back when it flakes off…. as if my painting would ever flake off???!!!! 😱

Had a lovely cuppa with Claire up the ladder and over the fence again, then sat out to enjoy the sun.

There’s been another 888 deaths taking the UK total over £15,000 and the government are being urged to start counting in the care home deaths too. There’s a lot of posts on FB complaining that deaths are being recorded against Covid-19 when actually it was cancer that killed their loved one. They’ve been told it has to register as coronavirus if they’re not sure if the patient had it or not. sure there’ll be more about that in the coming weeks.

Meanwhile in other news Calaidh was sneaking behind me waiting on the ball…. again…

In showered…. and after sunned… it’s like being on holiday!! And us fatties are gonna order a takeaway… right, tomorrow, steps, healthy food, need to screw the nut and get back on it. Got my digital scales today from the RH Fitness group that I joined so no excuses…. except maybe breaking the scales 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

The day starts as they usually do, guess everyone’s in a bit of a routine now. Up, coffee and banana bread with Craigie (how long do we have to keep eating it???)

I’m due to be at the Beith Trust in Geilsland’s main reception for 1pm and as you can imagine I’m sitting thinking about it from about 11am. This is the first time I have done anything since I went off sick at the end of May 2019 and my self confidence is packaged away somewhere safe and I can’t remember where I put it… that old story! Yes, I do hope I’ll find it when I least expect it but not sure I found it today. Craig could see it was festering so he asked me to talk about how I was feeling before I went out. The Trust had sent me a contract to sign to say I’d abide by the rules and a risk assessment document that they’d done for Covid-19 and reading it seemed to put the fear of God i to me. It took me back to processes, procedures, rules and expectations from work that my head can’t seem to handle these days… I was way over stressed about something so simple.

I can’t reiterate how simple this volunteering task was and yet you’d think I was setting off to climb Everest. I had to take 5 food parcels and deliver them to 4 houses with the only requirement that one person got a specific package due to food intolerances. Not hard? The dry food is in a box, the meals and soups in a cooler. Take a meal package and a soup package and add it to the dry goods box. Approach the door, put box down, ring bell or knock and return to your vehicle but wait till they get the parcel. So yeah the stressor is trying to control the spread of coronavirus so that maybe added to things a bit (check me giving myself a break!!!)

So….. list of things that went “wrong” or not to plan….

1. Of the 4 houses only one actually had a door number….. for someone who doesn’t know the area that well, that does NOT help!!

2. First person in a flat so I have to go in the close to find the door step… but doesn’t answer the door… what to do? back to the car and unpack it all.

3. 2nd person needs me to take it into the house and put it on the couch… shouldn’t have done that… but couldn’t say no…. where have we heard this before?!

4. 3rd person is the one with the door number yay!! All good! Meet someone I know in the street who tells me the first flat I visited is an upstairs flat not downstairs to back to 1st person…. while packing the box up I realise I haven’t been giving out the soup!?!?!? First persons delivered, with soup job done.

5. Not sure I mentioned that I am wearing a mask which is really for dust but in my slightly stressed state I’m struggling to breathe through it calmly and my mouth is sweating plus my freshly cleaned teeth and breath seem to be stinking…. nothing if not honest this blog… 😬

6. So back to 2nd and 3rd people with soup. Done.

7. Have to phone a friend as I don’t know where the last place is… find out, get there, remember soup. Job done!

8. Back to base to drop off the cool box and I think only then do I start to breathe normally.

So not sure how to explain how I felt other than flustered, dithery, convinced I’d fail, panicked I couldn’t find the houses, angry at lack of door numbers, scared I was breaking the rules…. so I have a way to go but this is an eye opener for me that I do still have to build myself back up. This lockdown is giving me a bit of a false sense of security maybe. I KNOW I can do anything I put my mind to but I just need to tell my mind that. Still it’s done now and I’m relaxing with a nice Nosecco. Funny how I came home desperate for a Nosecco to calm me down yet it’s alcohol free!!!!

We sat out until it got cold and I got burnt… then our local pub next door is doing deliveries just to a few locals so I offered to help with that… so much easier than earlier. Just waiting on our own dinner to arrive now! Can not wait for Lasagne and Mac ‘n’ cheese Gateside style!!! Our very own takeaway… ❤️❤️❤️

Sadly another 847 hospital deaths from Coronavirus taking the total to 14,576 in the UK. This still doesn’t take care home or at home deaths into account yet. Captain Tom Moore is now up at £18 MILLION RAISED FOR THE NHS!! We had a family friend taken into hospital the other day but thankfully Aunt Margaret is out now and tested negative for Covid-19, a huge relief. Jeannie is doing ok in her lockdown care home but they do have a number of confirmed cases. It’s all just a time game. We’re waiting to see how our world will change and it will have to change moving forward as social distancing is going to have to become a way of life.

So the day started with a coffee and some more hot banana bread and Craig is probably pleased to see I’m in a slightly better frame of mind than yesterday 😬 he did say “right, you are going back to getting your steps up today!” which I assume means he think it will help improve my mood… 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

So I got a call from the Beith Trust to ask about my application so told her why I’m no longer working and that I’d like to give something back. So every Friday I will help with food bank deliveries in Gateside and Barmill and I have to complete an application and be interviewed for a befriender which just means calling people who are lonely and can’t get out. So we’ll see how that goes. She hadn’t heard of the NHS First responder thing so I filled her in about that but I reckon we’re not getting used in this area because they have an established volunteer service through the Beith Trust.

In Virus news another 861 deaths in UK hospitals but this still doesn’t include those dying at home or in care homes. That’s taken our total past 13,000 people. Captain Tom Moore has finally stopped walking around his garden having raised £14 million for the NHS.

We’ve also been told that our current lockdown will continue for another 3 weeks. I forgot to say yesterday that Craig listens to James O’Brien on LBC radio and yesterday one of the callers was distraught as he was scared to go out and didn’t know how long he could go on cooped up. He’s been out and people had made fun of him he sounded so sad, so upset and just couldn’t make any sense of this and not being able to see his mum. He was crying while he tried to speak and it reminded me how bad last year was for me and how hopeless it all felt at times. It broke my heart to listen to him. It made me realise how far I had come. I burst into tears as soon as he went off air, I haven’t cried in ages but my heart went out to him.